Day 4 on the W Trail: Trail Talk: The W Gets Weird (and Hilly).
Me: (Squinting at a trail sign that looks like it was drawn by a toddler with a caffeine overdose) Uh, Refugio Grey... that way? But... isn't that, you know, south? Sign: (Stiff lettering seems to wobble) Look, buddy, directions are just suggestions. Besides, who even starts the W Trail at the bottom? Everyone knows it's Grey to Torres, not Torres to Grey. Me: (Trying not to lose it) Says the sign that has the final leg listed as the first. Sign: (Defensive rustle) Hey, cut a sign a break! It's been a long Patagonian fall. Me: (Sighing) Fine. So, Refugio Paine Grande, where I just left, is a breezy 45 meters (148 ft) above sea level. Grey, apparently, is a thrill-seeker's paradise at 65 meters (213 ft). Big whoop. Sign: (Puffing out its metaphorical chest) Don't underestimate those 20 meters (66 ft), pal! They come with a doozy of a mountain in between. Me: (Pointing at a sketchy path on the sign) You mean this "steep ascents and descents" nightmare? Look, sign, I'm at the top of this whole thing already – Laguna los Patos, a cool 210 meters (689 ft). And guess what? I'm about to climb another 40 m (131 ft) because, you know, pretty pictures. Sign: (Mumbling) Showoff. Me: (Shouldering my ridiculously heavy backpack) So, 3 kilometers (1,86 miles) down, 7 km (4,35 mi) to go. Easy, right? Especially with this 50-liter (13,20-gallon) water tank strapped to my back. (Sarcastically) Thanks for all the helpful "decisions" on this map, by the way. Sign: (Shrugging, if signs could shrug) Hey, you gotta keep things interesting! Stay tuned for panoramic vistas and questionable life choices at the top of that hill! PS. For our desktop dwellers, feast your eyes on my handy annotations by simply gliding your mouse over the photograph.